nailed to the floor. no obvious desire.
fuck. i'm not old enough to be this worn and tired.
and i haven't done enough to justify my existence.
humidity clouds the street lamps. branches of 80 year old maple hang flaccid,
wet and weary in front of the greying re-morn sky.
broken branches, snapped off and lying on the lawns and sidewalks.
dragged down, dismembered deciduous surrendering limbs to the gravity of the town.
can't peel myself off of the floor.
it's wet, the carpet overly warm, smelling of me. unwashed and sour.
tried to sleep through the day and failed.
another day starts and i've no hope of denying it. facing misery as it glares at me
burning. like i'm an insect through a magnifyer. the sun is god, is a hatefully curious experimenter, tormentor. and i'm cursed to wade through my personal horror over and over.
in unrelenting repetition.
stuck to my feet like melted asphalt. mixed up with raccoon fur and bones. torn and crushed junebugs deathly luminescent carapaces crunching with each gluey step.
can't run. i'd never get both feet off the ground at once and trying just gets you further adhered.
condemned. glued in like fly larvae buried in the bindings of an old molded book.
pages cracked, yellowed and no longer filled with words of wisdom.
intelligence deteriorated and insight evaporated. lost. rotten and piss smelling. stained clear.
then thrown into the tarpit with the rest of us.
would make good fire starter.
poisoned clouds of a thousand worn rubber tires and abandoned malformed children.
dumped and forgotten. human hair and fingernails, teeth and disremembered hopes.
returned to ash.
disembodied and hanging over the city.. blotting out the vengefull sunngod.
black clouds to poison us all for our sins and liberate us from capture.
this trap we've laid for ourselves.
punished and absolved.
21.08.09 0356
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